Is It Normal to Still Love Your Ex?

It’s perfectly okay if you find yourself wrestling with conflicting emotions after a breakup, such as wondering if it’s normal to still love your ex. The end of a relationship doesn’t always mean the end of love, and questioning whether it’s normal to still love your ex is a common part of the healing process. Let’s explore the intricacies of this emotional labyrinth and understand why your heart might still carry a flame for someone from your past.

(And after you read this, be sure to check out the breakup BOOST podcast. It’s exactly what you need if you are struggling to get over your ex because it will help you put everything into perspective.)

  1. You’re Human, and Humans Feel: First and foremost, let’s establish something vital – you’re human. Humans feel deeply, and love is a complex emotion that doesn’t follow a neat timeline. It’s absolutely normal for remnants of love to linger even when the relationship has ended.
  2. Your Heart Has Its Own Pace: The heart operates on its own timeline. It doesn’t always sync up with the logic of the mind or societal expectations. So, if you find love still residing in the chambers of your heart, it’s just a testament to the unique rhythm of your emotional journey.
  3. Love Doesn’t Have an On/Off Switch: Love isn’t a switch that you can turn on or off at will. It’s a nuanced and lingering force that can persist despite the circumstances. It’s okay if the embers of love still flicker within you; it doesn’t negate the validity of your decision to part ways.
  4. Memories Are Tied to Emotions: Memories are intertwined with emotions, and it takes time for those emotional connections to loosen. If you still love your ex, it might be because certain memories trigger the warmth of affection, even if the relationship has concluded.
  5. Closure Is a Process, Not a Deadline: Closure isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept with a strict deadline. It’s a process that unfolds differently for everyone. If you’re still grappling with feelings for your ex, it doesn’t mean you haven’t found closure; it means you’re on your unique journey toward it.
  6. Acceptance Doesn’t Erase History: Accepting the end of a relationship doesn’t erase the history you shared with your ex. Love is a profound part of that history, and acknowledging it is a step toward embracing the full spectrum of your emotional experience.
  7. Forgiving Doesn’t Always Mean Forgetting: Forgiving your ex doesn’t always translate to forgetting the love you once shared. Forgiveness is about releasing resentment, not erasing the love that was a genuine part of your story.
  8. You’re Processing Loss: Loving your ex post-breakup may be part of your process of grieving the loss. It’s a natural response to the void left behind when a significant connection is severed.
  9. Time Doesn’t Dull Every Emotion: Time is a powerful healer, but it doesn’t necessarily dull every emotion. Love, especially, can persist as a testament to the depth of your emotional investment.
  10. Self-Love Doesn’t Erase Past Affections: Embracing self-love doesn’t mean erasing the love you felt for your ex. It’s about incorporating those experiences into your self-narrative and recognizing your capacity for love, even after heartbreak.

So, here’s the bottomline is this: if you still love your ex, it’s entirely normal. Emotions are messy, and healing is a journey, not a destination. Be kind to yourself, allow the feelings to ebb and flow, and remember that there’s no set timetable for matters of the heart. Your emotional landscape is uniquely yours, and every emotion you experience is a brushstroke on the canvas of your healing heart. Get your copy of Don’t Be DESPERATE – – – it’s the REALEST breakup book on the market full of all of the advice you never knew you needed.

Connect with breakup coach, Trina Leckie, on Instagram & TikTok.

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