I’ve lost count at the number of people who I coach or who message me or email me saying how completely shocked they were about the breakup. That they can’t believe it happened. That everything was perfect. That they have NO idea what happened. They never saw it coming.
And so after that, I know that in a few minutes, after I ask a few questions and dig a little deeper, suddenly the reasons why will actually start spilling out. Kinda like when you have a bath tub full of water and then release the drain. All the water starts gushing down the drain.
Ok, so what were you saying about having NO idea what happened? LOL
And I know why people do this. It’s because after a breakup, most people are usually in denial. They think that if they actually address the problems, the breakup will become VERY real. Too real. And it’s super scary to face the music.
Facing the music feels like you are admitting that the relationship wasn’t working. Verbalizing the issues outloud can be terrifying because you are acknowledging to someone else that they exist. So when all is said and done, it’s easier to just act shocked and keep hoping that it will just go away and things will just be back to how they were. And I totally get this.
LISTEN to the full podcast episode for my thoughts on this:
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