Moving Out After a Breakup & Regaining Your Sense of Self

I think we can all agree that breakups are tough. They are usually very emotionally draining, and often, the process of moving out afterward can add another layer of stress and uncertainty. That said, the first thing you need to know is YOU REALLY CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING. You CAN and you WILL. Yes, really!

Of course this is not fun. It’s uncomfortable. Yes, it sucks. BUT, being in an unhealthy relationship or one that’s not working for whatever reason is a million times worse. The good thing is… you are exiting THAT and have a new chapter ahead. I promise… you will get to the light at the end of this dark tunnel. Just take it day by day, have faith, trust the process, and before you know it, this will be behind you.

And I strongly encourage you to grab a copy of Don’t Be DESPERATE: Get Over Your Breakup with CLARITY & DIGNITY to get you into the right headspace. It will help you to put everything into perspective, and even give you a chuckle here and there.

Let’s go over the ins and outs of moving out after a breakup…

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EMOTIONS

It’s really important to face your emotions and give yourself time to process them, vs. keeping them bottled up. And it goes without saying that breakups bring on a flood of them. Crying is a great release and absolutely not a sign of weakness. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of this relationship.

REACH OUT FOR SUPPORT

You’ll also want to seek the support of someone close to you, whether that be a friend or family member you can TRUST. People who love and care for you will be able to provide a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and various other assistance you may need.

In my opinion, it’s better to not fill in every single person you know on every detail of your relationship and breakup. It may seem like a good idea in the moment when your emotions are all over the place, but you’ll probably regret doing so as time goes on. Remember, a lot of people just want the “gossip” of it all.

If you don’t have anyone to talk to, that’s what I’m here for! Reach out for email support or phone coaching with me anytime! (And even if you do have people to support you, it’s still a great idea to get the advice and guidance of someone unrelated to your situation (coach, counsellor, therapist). People who don’t know you personally and who deal with these types of things on a professional level can provide you with unbiased opinions and a level of safety and confidentiality.

MAKE SELF CARE NON-NEGOTIABLE

Like I mentioned earlier, going through a breakup is emotionally draining. It’s also emotionally exhausting. You really need to prioritize your self-care. This includes staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals (not skipping meals altogether), staying away from alcohol and other toxic substances, getting out for a daily walk, staying on track with some sort of exercise, listening to upbeat music to lift your spirits, pampering yourself, reading some motivating books, and listening to some inspiring podcasts. Even if you don’t feel like getting out to do something, the sooner you get back into some sort of routine, the sooner you will get past this breakup. xo

PLAN YOUR MOVE

  • Take stock of your current living arrangements, financial situation, and legal considerations. Evaluate whether moving out immediately is necessary or if a gradual transition is more feasible. Sometimes it takes time to find a new place. Sometimes you don’t have anyone to stay with in the interim. You have to base this off of your personal situation, but I encourage you to do whatever you can do to move the process along as fast as possible. Living with your ex after a breakup will likely really wear on you mentally. (I suggest to not date until you get all of this squared away and heal from your breakup. First things first.)
  • Discuss the logistics of the move, such as timelines, division of belongings, and any shared financial responsibilities. In the ideal world, you would have a respectful and amicable resolution. But we know that things are usually not “peaches and cream.” In situations where things are more volatile, always remember to focus on what YOU can control and try not to allow your ex to get under your skin and rattle you. Keep your boundaries strong.
  • Create a moving checklist. Break the moving process down into manageable tasks, such as finding a new place, notifying landlords (booking elevators if in an apartment building), transferring utilities, packing, and hiring movers (if necessary). Having a checklist will help you stay organized and reduce overwhelm.
  • Create a budget to ensure your financial stability. Consider costs such as security deposits, moving expenses, new furniture or household items, and potential overlap in rent or mortgage payments. (The least of your concerns at this time would be furniture and household items… you can buy those as you go. The most important piece of the puzzle is those four new walls.)

FIND YOUR NEW PLACE

  • What type of place are you looking for? How much are you willing to spend? How many square feet of space do you realistically require? How many bedrooms? (Maybe you need an extra room for office space.)
  • What area of town do you want to live in? Yes, you may save money living further out, but will that take you a lot more time and money in terms of travel and gas? Do you want to be close to friends and family? Do you want to be far from where you live with your ex so you don’t bump into them at the corner store?
  • Set “alerts” on apartment / house hunting websites and keep up with those daily. A lot of places are gone before you know it and certain markets are extra competitive, so you need to act fast.
  • Before signing a lease, carefully read and understand the terms and conditions. Pay attention to details such as lease duration, rent amount, maintenance responsibilities, and any penalties for breaking the lease (if it ever came to that). Make sure you have a good feeling about your potential new spot vs. making rash decisions, based on stress or desperation.
  • Coordinate with utility companies to ensure a smooth transition of services to your new home. Arrange for electricity, water, internet, cable, and any other necessary utilities as soon as you have your new address. These things can take time to set up.

EXTRA TIDBITS

  • Use your moving “journey” as an opportunity to get rid of junk and clutter, rather than bringing all of that unnecessary stuff into your new place. Leave everything that has bad energy or full of bad memories away from your new space. Decide what to keep, donate, sell, or discard. You’ll also have more space this way!
  • It always seems like packing won’t take long… UNTIL you start packing. It’s a huge (and annoying) undertaking, but just remember, with every box that is packed, you are one step closer to your new territory. Start packing certain things you don’t need in the coming weeks even before you find a new place in order to save time down the road.
  • Label boxes clearly to ease the unpacking process later. Creating an essentials box is a great idea, full of items you’ll need immediately upon moving.
  • Arrange for movers, friends, or family to assist you. Tell them your move day and plan in advance. I have to say though… if you can afford it, the best thing to do is find an affordable moving company. People who have experience packing, moving, and the strength to lift and carry. Plus, the last thing you need at a time like this is people you know complaining about it or making you feel like they don’t want to be there. I mean, no one likes doing this, but you need positive energy around you right now.

WELCOME TO YOUR NEW PLACE!

  • Yay! You’re in your new place… to be filled with new energy, new memories, and lots of laughter. Decorate it and set it up in a way that makes you love being in your space. (One of the great things about being single is you can do whatever the heck you want!)
  • Embrace this fresh start by establishing new routines and habits. Explore your new neighborhood, find local resources, and engage in fun activities.

Moving out after a breakup is an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and a fresh start. By taking care of yourself, planning thoughtfully, and seeking support, you can navigate this transition successfully.

Remember, healing takes time, so be patient with yourself as you embrace your new chapter. With resilience and a positive mindset, you’ll find yourself moving forward and building a fulfilling life after a breakup. You’ll look back and think, “Thank God I’m outta there!” 😉 With time comes clarity.

And remember, grab a copy of this book to support you in getting over your breakup as well as a source of motivation and encouragement. The last thing you EVER want to be doing is reaching out to your ex after all of this or making choices regarding your ex that you’ll later regret.

YOU GOT THIS!

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