#126: Breaking Up When No Specific Problem

So many breakups end on a bad note, that it can seem odd to just be able to end a relationship on good terms. It can cause you to second guess your decision or overthink it. Plus, it still hurts because you are  grieving the end of a relationship, regardless.

So if you find yourself in a situation where you are breaking up (or thinking about breaking up) without a specific problem, this podcast episode is for you!


Not able to listen right now? Read here instead:

Sometimes relationships just fizzle out and lose their spark. Sometimes people just find themselves going in different directions. People change as well, and so do their needs.

It’s like if you reflect back to your first bf or gf – at the time, you probably thought that you would be with them forever…and now you look back and you may think “Oh my gosh … I can’t even believe I dated them” … or “Wow there is no way we would have ever lasted another year, let alone a lifetime.” You just don’t see those things at the time though. And of course, no one has a way to predict the future.

We are so used to breakups having a reason or a number of reasons behind them…but the fact of the matter is that not every breakup has to be volatile or caused by things like cheating, lying, abusive, or shady behaviour.

So when you find yourself in a relationship where nothing specific has happened to cause you to feel like you want out of it, it can leave you confused and wondering if you are making the right decision. You may think you are just overthinking things. Or you may just think you hit a rough patch or that you should just wait on things…

But the truth of the matter is this – you don’t need a specific reason why you want to end the relationship and go your own way. If you aren’t feeling it anymore, consider THAT to be your reason.

You would be doing yourself a disservice by staying…and also doing your partner a disservice if you aren’t into it anymore. If you are investing your time and energy into a relationship, you want to feel excited about it. Both parties deserve to have someone fully invested into the relationship. Not just someone sticking around to stick it out. I mean, how lifeless and boring does that sound?

And you may be wondering, well how did it get to this point?

Like I said earlier, maybe the spark has just fizzled out. Or maybe you rushed into the relationship too quickly, thinking it was what you wanted. Maybe you were lonely and just wanted someone around. Or maybe you thought you liked them more than you did, but then the novelty wore off soon after. Heck, maybe you even discovered that you weren’t really that compatible after all.

Bottom line – if it doesn’t feel right, get out. Don’t feel bad or guilty about it. And yes, you may hurt the other person, but chances are good that they have noticed things aren’t going fabulously anyways.

Breakups are never easy, regardless of the circumstances, but there would be so much more heartache down the road if you just continued on. And THAT would not be fair to your partner. You are doing them a favor by ending the relationship now so that they can heal from it, learn from it, and move on with their life as well.

A new chapter is just around the corner for the both of you. Focus on the positives!

Get more help:

(1) ORDER EMAIL or PHONE coaching at breakupBOOST.com

(2) CALL 1-85-LOVE-LIFE (1-855-683-5433) to talk to Trina now! No appointment needed. First 10 minutes FREE for first-time callers.

(3) CHAT ONLINE with Trina from your phone or computer: https://premium.chat/breakupBOOST

(4) SUBSCRIBE to Trina’s YouTube

(5) FOLLOW on Instagram @breakupBOOST

Trina is a breakup coach in Vancouver, but helps people heal their hearts worldwide.

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